Do not lament in the fact that things are not the way they used to be. Create new traditions! Invite more people, surround yourself with friends. Extend your home to someone new, perhaps someone who adds intrigue to your celebration, comic relief, or a new storey! Play fun music. If your children are teenagers, let them invite a friend to join in at some point of the celebration.
Whether it be Christmas time, New Years, Birthdays, Thanksgiving, Halloween, or the like, celebration times for divorced families can be very stressful.
Parents are often riddled with guilt and may even be mourning the loss of what used to be. The loss of a unit, the loss of grand gatherings, of two families, of tradition – and the same holds true for children.
It is your responsibility, as a parent, to ensure that all of these celebratory times are made special for your children. Yes, this is absolutely possible!
It is incredibly valuable to plan ahead. Make sure you and your ex spouse are clear on who will have the children and at what times. It is important to be flexible and leave room for marginal error at this time. Trust that the other parent is doing their best to keep to a schedule, even if you know that may not be the case. Now is no time to engage in battles. Think about its effect.
Remember that as children grow older, they may want to join their friends for celebrations. Try not to get offended by this and instead, create compromises with your children. The key is to embrace change and listen clearly to what your children want, within reason.
Have perspective -- remember that all those families who look perfectly content, probably aren’t. This is one great fallacy! Instead of focusing on those who you perceive have it better than you, focus on those less fortunate. Make it a holiday to be charitable. Cook extra and deliver to a homeless shelter. There are so many worthy causes and having your children witness this, in you, is the ultimate in the celebratory spirit.
Your greatest gift to your children, at any time, is seeing you thrive!
If you and your parenting partner cannot come to terms on a fair parenting arrangement for the Holidays or anytime during the year, Mediation is an effective means of addressing such issues.
Please do not hesitate to contact me www.victorylaw.ca
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